Child of the Darkness

When i was born my parents could not decide what to name me so they left it to my paternal grandmother. My maternal grandmother was not too happy about this, after all it was her daughter that carried this first child. I do not know why this part is relevant because my paternal grandmother got away with it and named me after herself, Nyachiro.

I have been told that my name means a child born at night. Other versions of my name are child of the darkness. I must admit that that is just my version. It sounds more exciting than a child born at night. But i do not know if the meaning of my name is even true, my father rarely speaks of the meaning of things in his language. It’s almost as if he left his childhood and language behind when he left the village and became a big man in the city.

My name means grandmother to me. It is all i see when i write it down or when someone calls me. When she died, “Nyachiro” scared me. Mostly because i realised that her tombstone would read, “Nyachiro Kasese” in the exact same way mine would someday read.

People say that i have the feet of a nomad and the mind of a wanderer. My relationships always last for as long as i am able to dust and clean up someone’s heart. I have been told that i love to love people without homes inside them. And maybe thats why when i make homes inside of them, i leave, after i have taught them what its like to have a home you can love inisde of you.

We dont necessarily always migrate to places, sometimes its about you, moving out of yourself when the flames in your home get too uncomfortable. There are days and months when i migrated out of my body and into the arms of lovers or substances that constantly kept me away from having to come back and face the flames in my body. I have often found it too easy to leave and live in the dark.

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